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Submitted on
November 13, 2011
File Size
812 bytes


71 (who?)
When light flooded your eyelids
& permanently blinded you
that was Jesus'

love, covering your skin
like the palm of a hand.

It was then you found you were as zealous
in persecuting trash

& the gods we make of our stomachs
as ever you were
in persecuting Christians

with the brand. How they
recoiled from you when you
began effusing to them

in fires & gibberish tongues! For the light
that filled you was eruptive

& though
you speak of your own life

as if it could be a drink offering,
you are a fire work

& we are attending the fuse.
This went well.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2011-11-26
Quelythe Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not very familiar with the context here, so forgive me if I am wrong, but as well as being spiritual I saw the poem as being a very human portrayal of Paul. I don't regret rereading it several times. A belated congrats on the DD. :)
ashellessmind Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2012
Yes, human portrayal.

Carmalain7 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Brilliant piece, absolutely brilliant. You have a very distinct voice - more so than the Phillipians to Paul, you seem to address an audience greater than the work itself, and that is what makes this a truly beautiful tribute - and a natural, seamless progression. The beginning and end are parallels, each existing with the other and ceasing without/with each other.

My one suggestion as far as possible improvement would go - as this piece is as close to flawless as it gets - would be in the line regarding Paul addressing the "crowds." In following the theme of duality you seem to have interwoven throughout the piece, might i suggest he be addressing the "mass", "masses", or "congregation"? Obviously there is very little need for change in this piece as evidenced by its well earned merits, but i thought i'd at least leave you that thought.

Regardless, brilliant piece my friend. Drawing upon wisdoms and truths established by classical literature to provide the foundation for one's own message has always been an element i've appreciated greatly in any modern art medium. Love it.
ashellessmind Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Thanks for the tip. I liked it and I went with "The amassed" for now.

Nothing is perfect.
Carmalain7 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Glad i could be of at least some help my man.

"The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple." =D
wreckling Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011   Writer
I'm bummed this didn't get more attention than it did, but I'm glad to see you taking it in stride. This is a great poem, and thanks for posting it. :]
ashellessmind Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011
You know, I think that this poem got most of the attention it deserved and only managed to avoid some of the attention from people who didn't deserve to see it ;)

Thanks for the feature. You tend to feature good work so that was nice to receive from you.
zarhx Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2011
Gay. Yawn.
ashellessmind Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011
Hi. I wanted to let you know that when I received this comment I decided to look at your profile and see what kind of person you are.

What I found is that we have at least a few things in common. Notably, I'm way into Pokemon myself, and I love animals. I actually had rats living in my apartment for two years when I was living with a girl who owned rats, and I miss them now. Their names were Gideon and Francis and they were some of the friendliest, happiest animals I have ever been around. I would consider getting rats myself, but I am moving to China to teach soon and wouldn't be able to take them with me.

Your dog is pretty cute too. I had a dog growing up and would like to get one as soon as I live in a place where I have enough time to give a big dog the care she deserves.

I have a cat. Her name is Calliopy and she is very pretty and happy. My parents are going to take of her while I am in China (they have two cats themselves) and for that I am very grateful.
zarhx Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2011
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